I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
