I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
