I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize