As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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