i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
