You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
