I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
