i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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