i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
