HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize