he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm too high and old for this...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
