all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
