Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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