if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
