Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize