so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
