worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
