It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
