I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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