forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
