RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
