hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
