ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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