did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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