Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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