I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
