I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
