I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
