Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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