Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize