I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
