Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
