It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just invented taco cereal.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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