Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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