i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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