I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
