The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
