nut hugger
if you like me you must not know who I am
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
