Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm both gender and math confused
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
