There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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