meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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