the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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