That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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