Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
