How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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