shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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