my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
