I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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