I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
