i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize