You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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