You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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