Are we in a gay sports bar?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
