one might say we're banned from that church
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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