I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
and you fell through a lawn chair
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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