you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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