...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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