Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
