No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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