Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I see more hoeing in ur future
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
