then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
