Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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