Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm really busy with my period
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