My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
