Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
