your thong is hanging out like whoa
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
