I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
