using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
