i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
