Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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